How can I keep my writing from being perceived as "too complicated"?

Question

This is from a piece I wrote a couple of years back:> The sky seemed like a big, large pool of grey smoke. The weather was cool, moist. A fresh, earthy smell hung on the air.> I peered through the window with slick navy blue curtains, swinging to and fro to the movement of the minibus, blocking my view to some extent. Tiny rain droplets drizzled onto the closed glass pane with a light tinkle, creating a rhythmical musical tune which doubtlessly was perceived by quite a few. I could see the vague reflection of a stressed me breaking into a little grin on the damp window pane, as well as my surroundings. I became lost into admiring the lovely shower for a few moments before reality struck me hard.I've been told that most of my sentences are too complex and that it isn't easy to follow my writing. And my English teacher said that some of the sentences are downright confusing. And that I try to cram too many information into a single sentence. Is it really too difficult for the reader to understand what's going on?**How can I prevent myself from writing overly complex sentences which might not get understood that easily?** Is it worth aiming for a poetic effect at the cost of not being clearly understood? It has become kind of a habit for me to write unintelligible yet impressive sentences. Somebody has even said that I write in a "charmingly old-fashioned way".Keep in mind that I'm not a native English speaker and only 12. I'm an aspiring writer, nonetheless. And I still need to improve my English writing skills a lot.###NOTEI'm not 12 anymore, hence the strikethrough on that bit. Please keep in mind that this question was written a long time ago and got closed around that time. It is now over 2 years old and has been reopened only this recently. I was new here then and didn't know too well how to frame a proper question. I just happened to revisit this again one day and went on to patch up the issues it had. But I wasn't expecting this to suddenly get reopened and get such attention. Again I'm not still 12 (I'm 14 now, in fact) and now this piece is something I'm incredibly ashamed of. All the cringey stuff I wrote back when I was young and didn't know any better. I would never write something like this now. But thanks for all of your thoughtful comments!

Answer 1

Let me start by saying that your writing style is and always will be your writing style, don't let anyone tell you that you should or shouldn't phrase things a certain way "because it's too complicated." I started writing poetry at your age, and instead of criticism I was given applause which actually made me want to continue writing in my own complicated poetic way. I can say without a doubt that your writing is not too complicated to be understood and actually that says more about the reader than it does about your writing. There are some redundancies in your writing (e.g. big, large pool) but that is merely because you're trying to get your feelings onto paper. What you need to do as a writer is think about how to bend your words in different directions to fully capture what you're thinking and feeling. I want you to do something though, stop referring to your writing as "cringey". First of all this descriptor is kind of meaningless, second of all it disparages your talent as if it's not valuable. I always try to develop the abilities of my students as well as help them formulate their own style, I would never tell a student that his style is "cringey" or "too complicated" unless he was making actual grammatical or diction errors. Feel free to message me if you have more questions or need some help.

-Andrew