I need two supporting body paragraphs that support my thesis. Here's my introduction.

Question

A principal at a Scottish school asks a student, "Awright, how come aren't ye sportin' yer kilt?" A boy wearing a skirt seems weird to people but it shouldn't. Boys should be able to wear a skirt to school.

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(By the way, the Scottish thing was the hook but you can input something of that in the paragraphs.)

Answer 1

Hello,

First, I would suggest a more developed thesis. One of the things I always ask students is the "so what" question. THis question focuses on the "why" aspect of your essay and will help you fashion well-developed body paragraphs that support your thesis.

Why should boys be able to wear a skirt to school? Why should this idea not seem "weird" to others? Currently, this idea is way too broad. I would suggest spending some time to answer these questions so you can narrow your argument or topic. It is a lot easier to write body paragraphs when you have clear ideas and thus a clear structure to follow. If you brainstorm "responses" or ideas that you want to argue in your essay, you will be a lot closer to writing these body paragraphs.

I am available if you need further assistance. Please don't hesitate to contact me if I can help in any way. I'd be happy to help you write and revise your body paragraphs.

I hope this helps

Best,

Wenwei

Answer 2

Hi, Kaivon,

Your opening is not a paragraph, so it should be fleshed out to expand your hypothetical story in a way that reveals the issue a little more.

Your body paragraphs will contain the arguments you plan to use to support the thesis. So, what reasons can you come up with that boys ought to be allowed to wear skirts? You could certainly make the case that since girls are (presumably) allowed to wear skirts, prohibiting boys from wearing the same clothing constitutes sex discrimination. There's also the argument that clothing choices are a part of one's expression of self and that this expression is a protected freedom. Your example of kilts in Scotland is evidence that if this policy were to be adopted, no serious harm would likely occur.

Best wishes!