Matt H. answered • 11/17/14
Tutor
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PATIENT :-) Elem/Middle MATH and WRITING; HS SAT and COLLEGE ESSAYS!
Hi Kk--what a nice story, and you write well! I've made a few changes, which you will see either crossed out or underlined. Not all of them are "right and wrong" changes--many are just ideas for making the story flow more smoothly. I hope they are helpful...
As the man left the cafe, Maria saw that his phone was still on the table. Then As she stood up to take it, and suddenly the phone rang. The phone number was hidden. The woman was really sSurprised, but she nevertheless decided to answer.
She tried to explain that the owner has had left, and to ask if there was any possibility of bringing it the phone back to him. She was speaking fast, her voice shaking a bit.
The person on the other end was silent for a moment. Maria felt was confused.
"I know," she heard a tender, lovely man's voice say. "I'll be there in a minute."
Maria stood up, still perplexed. Then a few moments later she saw a man standing in front of her. It was the same man who had lost his phone!
She asked him why he had called himself.
"It was the only way I could talk to you, Maria."
And here their story began.
[this is a very sweet story!]
Matt in New York
