What's the best way to write the following sentence?

Question

What is the best way to write the following sentence? Can the three things I mention be listed as a series (one where an Oxford comma would be necessary, although I chose not to use it here) or does that not work?

In recent years I have taken more of an interest in my city and state communities, the things that most directly affect their citizens and how those things are carried out.

Answer 1

The three things mentioned cannot be listed as they are not parallel. There is cause and effect relationship. "Things" are perhaps projects or works that will impact the city and communities. Taking interest is further exemplified in monitoring, examining, or supervising the manner in which those things will be carried out. Some of the ways to write the above sentence are given below:

"In recent years I have taken more interest in the projects that most directly affect my city and state communities with special attention to how these are implemented."

OR

"In recent years, I have taken more interest in the works related to the well-being of my city and state communities and how these are managed as these will directly impact them.

Answer 2

(1) Despite what writing teachers and texts might say about omitting terminal commas, it is bad style to exclude them, so don't. (2) Cities are subsumed in states, but the latter are not "communities," so to group together is a misnomer. (3) See Sheri's prior answer for parallel structure. (4) "In recent years I have taken more of an interest in" is verbose ... likewise for "the projects that most directly affect their citizens" (moreover, "their" is misplaced because "you" are part of those communities--so ... "our communities".

Here's a more elegant way:

As I've matured, so has my civic interest in how my city and state governmental policies impact those of us who bear the consequences.