Do commas belong in this sentence? If so, where?

Question

Do any commas belong in this sentence? If so, where?

Agents book gigs and opportunities for the artist (shows, deals, etc.) and negotiate contracts while managers work more directly with the artist to provide more long-term career advice and guidance as well as general task management.

Answer 1

Hi Jordan,

I agree with Ethan that you would need a comma after "contracts" because it will help you separate the independent clause from the dependent clause. However, I see a bigger issue with this sentence: conciseness. You could delete phrases and words that would prevent this sentence from being wordy.

Agents book gigs and opportunities for the artist (shows, deals, etc.) and negotiate contracts, while managers work more directly with the artist to provide more long-term career advice and guidance. as well as general task management.

The last part of your sentence " as well as is too vague; it should be more specific if you want it in this sentence.

Answer 2

Hi, Jordan. In this sentence, your commas would be after the words "contracts" and "guidance."

Between "contracts" and "while," you are separating two independent clauses. In the first clause, you are describing what agents do, while in the second clause you are describing what managers do.

In the case of "guidance," you are separating a series. Although you technically don't have a list of three or more because career advice and guidance is grouped together, you must separate the advice and guidance from the general task management.

Hope this helps!