English question

Question

Could this be used for a transition to show the conclusion of the essay or do I have to use an actual transition word?

The sentence is...

COVID 19, SARS, the Holocaust all take people’s innocent lives because of reasons the people can’t change.

Answer 1

Hello!

First, I think this sentence could probably be rewritten for clarity. You could maybe hint that you're heading towards the conclusion by adding something at the beginning, such as "overall" or "it is clear that"...

I think it's important to rethink your sections as well. COVID and SARS are clearly related, as they are health disasters (both related in the type of disease as well as the outbreaks that followed). The Holocaust is *not* a health disaster - it was mass genocide caused by human evil instead of a biological virus. It's not really clear how it connects to the other two topics. I'd recommend writing about another health disaster, such as the Spanish flu (a lot of similarities to COVID, actually). That way, there would be more cohesion between the topics and you'd have a stronger thesis statement. You can better articulate what the reasons are that "the people can't change".

Try this:

"It has been well-documented that many innocent lives were lost due to health disasters such as COVID-19, SARS, and [insert outbreak] due to mismanagement at various levels of government and the ineffectiveness of various public safety initiatives."

Hope this helps!

Answer 2

It's a hard question to answer based on just the one sentence. Here's why.

You're asking whether your transition is clear, but that depends to a large extent on what you're transitioning from and to. If, for example, the previous paragraphs are all sort of big picture looks at the diseases and genocide, then a paragraph that starts with your sentence might look like another one of the same, in which case Alec is right, you'd want a transition word to tell the reader that this is actually your conclusion. If, on the other hand, the previous paragraphs are detailed examinations of causes, effects, locations, progressions, and so on, then it would be clear that this new paragraph that starts with your sentence is "zooming out" to wrap things up, and so it's probably fine as you have it.

All of that said, a lot of teachers like to emphasize deliberate use of transition words and phrases regardless of whether the paper is easily followable without them. There may be good reasons for doing so--mainly it's good practice. It's like when my dad taught me to use the turn signal even if there was no one behind me or at the intersection; it's a good habit to get into even if it's superfluous in that specific situation, especially when you're learning. If your teacher is in that group, then, needed or not, use a transition phrase. First of all you want the grade, and second of all, it can be helpful to think exactly how the ideas in your paper relate to each other and how to express that.