What is wrong with this sentence, and how should I fix it?

Question

I am proof-reading a short CV that details an employee's volunteer achievements. It will form part of an application for a committee position. The following sentence makes my brain itch, but I am having trouble deciding: 1. Why it sounds wrong (something with the tense, I think) 2. How it *should* be written > I am fortunate to have been named as chair of this board shortly after I joined. A little help would be appreciated!

Answer 1

I agree. It sounds wrong because of tense agreement. It should be "I WAS fortunate..."

Also, there's the implication that the candidate was named chair because of luck rather than merit, so they probably would have done better simply to humble-brag and eliminate the first part altogether: "I was named chair of this board shortly after I joined," but that's somewhat outside the scope of the grammar question!

Answer 2

Two things bother me about your sentence: (1) the passive use of "to have been named chair" and (2) the positioning of the clause "shortly after I joined."

Here's how I would fix it:

My good fortune was my appointment as chairman of this board. I was especially gratified that the appointment occurred shortly after I joined.

You could probably shorten that up somewhat, of course. Whenever I see more than one really important idea included in a compound sentence, my natural tendency is to parse it...Which is not to say that I advocate staccato writing.