Looking for reviews on my sonnet

Question

What a blessing are such wonderful friends,

Who upkeep and pursue their persistence.

Friendship moves and bends with the daily trends.

Moving away can be hard with distance.

Oh, my heart is divided from her heart.

When will we each other see forever?

The space between us keeping apart,

Fill the void please or it will be never.

A smile together, we used to laugh.

But now us, separated from my life,

As one we used to be, now cut in half.

Distance and space, divided by a knife.

It once was so simple, so easy, quaint.

No more, no more, so far, might I faint.

Answer 1

Your sonnet follows the propper ABAB CDCD EFEF GG rhyme scheme and your tone is very clear throughout the entire piece. The second stanza seemed a little forced. The way you structured the lines 6-8 pulled me out of the general imagery and flow of the poem. Is there another way you can think to structure those lines? I had a similar problem when reading lines 10-11. Overall these lines all make sense but I feel like they're phrased awkwardly.

Overall I feel like you conveyed the complicated aspects of a long distance friendship--which is something a lot of people can relate to.