Answer the question

Question

Filipinos love to get involved with lively and fun gatherings especially when their whole family is present and complete. They unite and come together for the sole purpose of celebration and happiness. Moreover, people look forward to festivals all-round the year. As a student, if you given a chance to create your own festival, what would be the title and how will you make it?

Answer 1

Assuming you're requesting proofreading and editing I've gone ahead and provided suggestions for you to consider. Your original sentence is shown with a few notations that will be explained below.

Filipinos love to get involved with lively and fun gatherings especially when their whole family is present and complete. They unite and come together for the sole purpose of celebration and happiness. Moreover, people look forward to festivals all-round the year. As a student, if you given a chance to create your own festival, what would be the title and how will you make it?

1. The first sentence contains unnecessary additions, which makes the sentence wordy and potentially hard to follow. The part with the strikethrough shows that and complete is unnecessary when preceded by "their whole family". The phrase "whole family" suggests that all members are accounted for, and the unit is complete, so there's no need to state it's complete.
2. The underlined phrase "They unite and come together for the sole purpose of" may be omitted for a more concise statement through a semi-colon. In the example below, you will see the two sentence rewritten and merged: "Filipinos love to get involved with lively and fun gatherings, especially when their whole family is present; they come together for celebration and happiness." This version removes the independent statement, instead linking it as a reason for gathering; it also removes redundant phrasing in the underlined section. As readers, we have already been told that people come together in celebration, and emphasizing "celebration and happiness" as the sole reason does not lend to its importance when provided as the only reason.
3. The bolded word of "will" in your final sentence does not need to be changed, but it may help improve the overall flow of the sentence by changing it to "would," depending on the context. Again, this isn't necessary, but it's something to consider in future writing.

Below you will find a sample of the revised writing.

1. Filipinos love to get involved with lively and fun gatherings, especially when their whole family is present; they come together for celebration and happiness. Moreover, people look forward to festivals all year. As a student, if you were given a chance to create a festival, what would be the title, and how would you make it?

I hope you will find these suggestions helpful. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any other requests.