Tai F. answered • 07/29/22
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New to Wyzant
Art historian, linguist, museum professional, and editor
Having a 'but' there does work! However, if I might make a further suggestion for grammar's sake?
If you change 'But desiccates it' to 'But desiccated', it has the same number of syllables while also using the correct tense for the sentence."His body soaked in sorrow, but desiccated" conventionally correct.
That said, this is poetry, and poetry often challenges prescriptive grammar. If your choice of tense was intentional, by all means, leave it as it is ;-)
Hope this helps!
Tai F.
My apologies for the delayed response! Desiccated can mean both dried out and lacking interest or spirit. In your example, the second definition would be more appropriate. Regardless of which definition you use, consider that grief is a fiddly emotion--it's entirely possible someone can feel so intensely that they short-circuit into feeling nothing at all. Similarly, it is possible to be drenched in sorrow but also completely wrung out and dried, as suggested by the poem. To that end, you could say that he's become so soaked in sorrow that he feels dried out and hollow.
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07/30/22
Ethan B.
Thank u for your response
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07/30/22
Ethan B.
How can he be soaked yet desiccated? He's soaked in sorrow, meaning he is feeling sad, but if it's desiccated wouldn't that mean he's not feeling sad?07/29/22