ENGLISH HELP PLEASE

Question

TEXT: Sparklers and smoke bombs are my favorite kinds of fireworks. They are both safe and fun but they are also quite different. After you light a smoke bomb, you should put it on the ground and run. Stand back and watch it go! When you light a sparkler, however, you continue to hold it until it is done sparkling. You’re your hand around and have an awesome time! They also burn differently. Sparklers create bright lights and sparks when you light them, but smoke bombs create smoke in different colors. Remember kids: smoke bombs and sparklers are both extremely dangerous and should only be used by professionals.

1) How do the structural elements of the above paragraph affect the overall meaning of the text?

TEXT: There is an increase in firework-related injuries every year around the Fourth of July. Emergency rooms around the city become filled with children and adults suffering from wounds and burns inflicted by fireworks. But you don’t have to suffer from these injuries. Keep yourself safe by staying away from fireworks. If you see someone who is not a professional playing with fireworks, take that as your cue to leave. If everyone stayed away from fireworks, there wouldn’t be any fireworks-related injuries. You can’t control everyone, but you can control yourself. If you remember that accidents happen, you can keep them from happening to you. Stay away from amateur firework displays this Fourth of July. 

2) What were the keywords that helped you determine the text structure of the above paragraph?

Answer 1

Expository writing falls into four categories: chronological order, problem and solution, cause and effect, or compare and contrast. It looks like you chose problem and solution, which is great because the structural element of the text is problem and solution. You presented the problem very well, but you might want to add more to the solution, making it about equal in the number of words used as were used for the problem. Rewrite sentence six and seven as follows: “You’ve got your hand around a sparkler, but it burns differently from a smoke bomb.” The use of "you" is fine because it is used in the text. Otherwise, it looks fine. The keywords in the text are increase, Fourth of July, wounds and burns, control, accidents, amateur. Your word “professionals” matches “amateur”. Maybe explain who professionals are. Remember to count the number of words in each sentence so that you have short sentences (up to 5 words), medium size sentences (6-12), and long sentences (over 12). Those are approximate lengths. This helps pacing, which helps the reader understand and enjoy. Finally, go over every “to be” verb and see if you can replace with an action verb, which may require you rewrite the sentence. Action verbs enliven your writing.