How to write more clearly and with shorter sentences?

Question

I struggle with writing an awful lot and would like to improve. One of my main problems (and the reason why writing seems to take me a very long time) is that I seem to be unable to write in shorter sentences and my sentences become very convoluted. It seems as if I always start writing from the 'end' of a sentence rather than building up to the main point. For example, I am currently writing a report on a scientific experiment I conducted, and I found myself writing the following sentence:> Considering the likely greatest source of error, had there not have been time constraints that made it not possible to take measurements by increasing the thermal emf temperature slightly, allowing the temperature of thermocouple and thermistor system to equilibrate, before increasing the temperature again, it would certainly have been a better idea to use these slow increases in temperature.It is just very convoluted, not clear, and I don't think it even makes grammatical sense.I would be grateful to know if there are any techniques one can use, or exercises to do, that would help someone to get in the habit of writing in shorter sentences, writing more clearly, and writing faster. I am grouping these together here because I think they often (though definitely not always) come together as one problem.

Answer 1

Well, obviously, as a writing tutor, I'm going to say the best solution is to work with a tutor, who can suggest edits so that you can start to hear what your own voice sounds like when it's more concise. Needless to say, I'd be happy to work with you.

From the world of quick tips, I offer these:

1. You have a lot of subordinate clauses in your sentence. If you need to write all that to make sense of it, fine, but then go back over it and see if there are any that the readers can live without, or, if they can't, can you make any of them separate sentences? For instance, maybe you could have pulled out those two middle clauses and written a sentence like: "Such an increase would have allowed the temperature of the t---- and t----- to reach equilibrium before increasing the temperature again." (I don't think equilibrate is a word)
2. Double negatives aren't always wrong (like in this sentence), but they do make things more complicated, so if you can rephrase to avoid them, do it.
3. The "have" in your first clause should be deleted ("had there not have been" should be "had there not been")

And more generally, the more you read, the more you'll develop your own taste for elegant language. If you mainly write science papers, I'd recommend reading scientists you enjoy, not just for their ideas, but whose work you actually enjoy. You might try Richard Feynman and Rachel Carson for a start, if you're looking for ideas. I haven't read Stephen Hawking, but there's probably a reason "Brief History of Time" became a bestseller. And Bill Bryson isn't mainly a science writer, but you might enjoy "A Short History of Nearly Everything."

But again, best solution, work with a tutor / editor.

Answer 2

Have you ever heard of the MEAL plan when writing?

           Main Idea: This is how you introduce your topic. What point are you trying to make in your paragraph?

           Evidence: This is how you “prove” your point. What evidence is available to prove your point? This is where you introduce a reference or two…and, it doesn’t have to be limited to just one sentence.

           Analysis: This is how you offer your own thoughts about what has previously been stated. What else do you want/need your reader to know and understand? How can you make it clear that you are interpreting this information a certain way?

           Link/lead out: This is how you (1) tie the paragraph together and (2) lead to the next paragraph. You can use this as an opportunity to sum up what has been discussed and prepare your reader for what is coming in the next paragraph. Ideally, this sentence provides a smooth transition for the reader.

Implementing this format will definitely enhance the fluidity with your writing! Good Luck!