A word that combines the feeling of euphoria and intense, bone-deep fear?

Question

I'm trying to describe a god through the eyes of a devout follower. I've tried using *awesome* because I tend to use it for scenarios like this (ie. describing something beautiful and horrifying), but it doesn't quite fit. I need something that says "this is magnificent and terrible in equal measures". I feel like I could find the answer in one of lovecraft's novels, but I'm not sure where to even start. Could someone suggest a way to convey the way I'd be using awesome? I'd like it to be clear I'm using it in the traditional sense and not the new (ish) sense.

Answer 1

I don't think one word will do it. I'm thinking an oxymoron-type description would help convey this emotion, e.g. "excruciatingly magnificent." I would avoid "awesome" at all costs as it's worn out from overuse and used in so many diverse situations that are not necessarily horrifying.

Answer 2

I agree with the above answer- I don’t think one word will do it. (Though ‘terrific’ has potential, even if most people don’t think of the ‘inspiring terror’ meaning these days.)

If you’re looking to use two words, something like ‘unspeakable radiance’ or ‘monstrous beauty’ might work, or even just “unendurable presence,” which I think conveys both the pleasure and pain of it by virtue of not actually describing either.

Abominable, unsayable, unbearable, and intolerable, are also good.

I have to say, though, that many of the most powerful descriptions of this kind use multiple words, and often fairly ordinary ones. I recommend Rainer Maria Rilke, particularly the Duino Elegies- he had a lot to say about angels and beauty and terror.

“Every angel is terrifying. Yet knowing, alas, I invoke you, almost deadly birds of the soul.”

-Second Elegy

”For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror which we are still just able to endure, and we are so awed because it serenely disdains to destroy us.”

-First Elegy

“There is in God, some say, a deep but dazzling darkness,” courtesy of Henry Vaughan.

John Donne has, “Death, be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful...”, and “When God's hand is bent to strike, it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God; but to fall out of the hands of the living God is a horror beyond our expression, beyond our imagination.”

Anyway, good luck!

Answer 3

It sounds as if you're trying to convey something that is formidably breathtaking. You could try that, or something along the lines of terrifyingly beautiful. I think you may need to use a two-word combo.

Hope that helps!