What is wrong with this sentence, and how should I fix it?

Question

I am proof-reading a short CV that details an employee's volunteer achievements. It will form part of an application for a committee position. The following sentence makes my brain itch, but I am having trouble deciding: 1. Why it sounds wrong (something with the tense, I think) 2. How it *should* be written > I am fortunate to have been named as chair of this board shortly after I joined. A little help would be appreciated!

Answer 1

Hi, Lawson.

I take it that the problematic sentence is "I am fortunate to have been named as chair of this board shortly after I joined." Grammar and style aside for a moment, I suspect that the thinly-disguised self-congratulation is not something one should do on a c. v., but a decision on that lies outside my expertise.

Let's look at the sentence's structure first. It is composed of two finite clauses, one main (I am fortunate), one subordinate (shortly after I joined), and one infinitive phrase (to have been named as chair of this board). In terms of sequence of tenses, there's no problem: the main verb is present and the infinitive is present-perfect; the perfect tense of the subordinate ("temporal") clause is also logical. In chronological sequence: I joined this board. Shortly afterward I was named (as) chair of this board. I now am (i. e. consider myself to be) fortunate for that honor.

I bracketed the adverb 'as' for redundancy. Verbs of calling, naming, appointing, electing, etc., when passive voice, take a "predicate appositive" with no need for a modifier, as in "Donald J. Trump was elected president."

Good luck!

Peter C.

Milton MA