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Is this sentence grammatically correct?

She did have blood work done in May of 2016 with normal glucose and lipids.  

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Tim C. | Knowledgeable and Experienced Specialist in Praxis Math and GED MathKnowledgeable and Experienced Specialist...
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I think technically it is correct but it sounds a little clunky.  How about this:
 
Blood work done in May of 2016 showed normal glucose and lipids.
 
Does that sound a little more smooth to you?

Comments

I didn't major in English, but I would change "lipids" in Tim's answer to "lipid levels". That sounds more like medical jargon.  
 
Mark M. (Bayport, NY)