I hear you, and you're not alone in this. A lot of parents worry when they see their child still using fingers for addition and subtraction, especially if it seems like their peers have moved on. But here's the truth: finger counting is completely normal at this stage. It’s not a sign that something is wrong. It’s a sign that your child is thinking and trying to make sense of numbers in a concrete way, which is exactly what they should be doing in the early stages.
What you’re really asking is: how do I help my child build stronger number sense so they can start doing math in their head with more confidence and ease? That’s a great goal and it’s very achievable with the right mix of support and time.
Here’s what works, from years of experience in both the classroom and working closely with families:
Don’t rush the process or take away the fingers too soon.
Fingers are a natural, developmentally appropriate tool. The key isn’t to stop your child from using them—it’s to help them gradually realize that there are faster and more efficient ways. That confidence builds with experience and practice, not pressure.
Instead of saying “don’t use your fingers,” try saying something like:
“Want to try it another way today?”
or
“How else could you figure it out?”
This shifts the focus from stopping the habit to building new strategies.
Strengthen number sense with patterns and visual tools.
The more your child sees numbers—really sees how they work—the less they’ll need to count. You can use dot cards, ten-frames, or even dice to help them spot patterns. Ask questions like, “What do you notice?” or “How many do you see without counting?” This is called subitizing, and it helps them start to picture numbers instead of tallying them.
Teach and practice strategies like “make 10” or “counting on.”
Let’s say your child is solving 8 + 5. You can help them break it into 8 + 2 + 3, because 8 + 2 makes 10, and 10 + 3 is easy. This is called “making 10,” and it’s a powerful mental math strategy. You can also show them how to start with the bigger number and count up, instead of counting both numbers from 1.
But these strategies don’t just “click”—they need to be modeled and practiced. Use real objects, drawings, or even number lines. Let your child talk through their thinking. When they explain how they solved something, that’s where the learning really deepens.
Use math in everyday life.
The best math happens when it’s part of something meaningful. At snack time: “You had 6 crackers and ate 2—how many are left?” At the store: “We have 4 apples. If we get 3 more, how many will we have?” Real-world math gives your child a reason to do the thinking, and it’s usually more engaging than worksheets.
Make it playful and repetitive.
Games are a fantastic way to build fluency. Card games, dice games, board games—anything that gives repeated exposure to small numbers helps those facts become automatic. And the repetition feels fun, not forced.
Support their confidence, not just their skill.
This part is just as important as the math. Celebrate effort and thinking, not speed. Let them know it’s okay to get stuck, okay to try a strategy that doesn’t work, and okay to keep using fingers while their brain catches up. When a child feels safe and capable, they’re much more willing to try new things—and to let go of old habits when they’re ready.
Over time, what you’ll start to see is your child using fingers less often, solving small facts more quickly, and relying on flexible strategies instead of one way of thinking. This doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process, and it happens best when your child feels supported and encouraged, not rushed.
