Help with Annotated Bibliography

Question

My assignment was to find a book about America and follow the step assign

 My work

My Book was called "The World Comes to America" Immigration to The United state Since 1945, By Leonard Dinnerstein, David M. Reimers

My goal was trying to get 90/90 however my score is 67/90, i would like to get some help with Re-improving this work and all Work must be Original work!

Dinnerstein, L., & Reimers, D. M. (2014). The world comes to America : immigration to the United States since 1945. Oxford University Press.

Leonard and David Composed this book in light of a nearer investigation of a migration strategy, as well as their own examination and concentrate over the course of the year on a broad movement strategy examiner over the course of the year, to make sense of American movement strategy. The two of them frame a few crucial significant pieces of information throughout the year. Leonard and David Examination from the year 1960 huge outsiders cam to America looking for a New life for their family and financial and one more advantage too, while different migrants did likewise in different nations/mainlands too. Leonard and David give specific consideration to after The Second Great War various races came to America in bigger or more modest gatherings some fit in America and others didn't, quarreling over the conflict Destitute, the conflict lady of the hour's companions, and different issues also. Leonard and David both diagram that American migration strategy improvement had a few factors that impact the change and segregation in America, major philosophical obstructions, and profoundly president Harry showed any tendency to twist the current America Statement regulation. Anyway, The two Creators were depending too vigorously on their work, and information assembled over the course of the year, and both are the sole or essential creators of close to a portion of the sources in their catalogs. Leonard and David Assemble information according to others' points of view and dissect the circumstances and their life. Leonard and David offered an important hotspot for this paper on the grounds that in view of section 1-5 gives a succinct outline of migration strategy and the change too. This offers a setting for dissecting the movement strategy and America Change yet in addition different parts of issues all over the planet as in nations also. Moreover monitoring different nations exchanging and outsiders too after the conflict. Indeed, even a Record of expanding migration that came to America over the course of the Year because of different nations disliking Financial.

should wind up with about 300 words of content, which is ideal for sharing with peers who may possess similar research interests. At the end of the day, this is the primary purpose of an annotated bibliography: to represent

Annotated Bibliography Rubric

CriteriaRatingsPts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeSummary	How you provided a clear and thorough summary of your source?		30 pts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeAnalysis	Have you provided a critique of your source that contextualizes its findings within shared course learning?		30 pts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeApplication	Have you provided a sense of the utility of your source?		20 pts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeStyle/Grammar/Rhetoric	Have you presented your ideas clearly?		10 pts
Total Points: 90

Annotated Bibliography Rubric
CriteriaRatingsPts
Summary	view longer description	Comments	There were points in this annotation that would have benefitted from additional clarification	24 / 30 pts
Analysis	view longer description	Comments	I would have liked to have heard a bit more in terms of an evaluation of the source's strengths and weaknesses	27 / 30 pts
Application	view longer description	Comments	How are you planning on using this source as you progress toward your final project?	10 / 20 pts
Style/Grammar/Rhetoric	view longer description	Comments	Portions of this annotation were very difficult to follow	6 / 10 pts
Total Points: 67

Answer 1

There are lots of ways to improve writing. You can look first at where you lost the most points.

Application: The comment is very helpful. “How are you planning on using this source as you progress toward your final project.” This must be stated very clearly, so the reader has no question about how you would use the source. That’s a key part of an annotated bibliography.

Style/Grammar/Rhetoric: Your professor (or teacher) found your writing hard to read. I agree that there are many things that you can do to improve your writing to make it more clear. Some of these are small but important rules that you can incorporate into all your academic writing. For example, always refer to authors by their last names, not their first names. Follow rules of capitalization (beginning of sentence and proper names, definitely not in the middle of the sentence on a random verb). Be very careful with your word choice. Some of the words you used seemed as if they came out of a translator or possibly a thesaurus. (E.g. hotspot as a word doesn’t fit with what you were trying to say.)

You might try things like reading your work aloud to make sure it makes sense (and that you’re confident about the word choices and sentence structures). At this point, simpler writing might be better, focused on clarity. Good luck!