Kay C.

asked • 03/19/15

is this a good introduction / thesis

topic: minimum wage should be raised
topic sentence #1 strengthen economy and businesses
topic sentence #2 lift americans out of poverty
i think i need another one
one of the most frequently asked questions in our country seem to be should minimum wage be raised or should it be lowered or eliminated altogether. from where i stand minimum wage should be raised. changes to the minimum wage would strengthen the economy and business, lift americans out of poverty...
i have three different thesis statement
thesis:  the only way to grow the economy  in a way that benefits 90% is to change the  structure of the economy
thesis: paying people a fair wage is a sign of respect and acknowledgement of the value of people contributions to the business
thesis: everyone is more successful when people are paid a living wage

1 Expert Answer


Elif I. answered • 03/21/15

5 (1)

Bilingual Educator with MEd, Tutoring in ESL, Reading, and Writing

Kay C.

i need help putting it altogether like the other one

i need some help with explaining that with a minimum wage increase that americans will feel more independent without depending on government assistance.

with the increase those that are on food stamps would not need to be on food stamps. they would be able to afford the basic necessities. also i believe that some people may feel embarrassed due to the fact that they do need help and can not afford to buy the necessities like food on their own. without government assistance people would feel better about themselves.

they feel that their struggle to survive is so bad that it has lead them asking help from the government. and they probably don't feel as independent or motivated. people tend to not talk about what their going through because its embossing and do not want to be judge by other people and people probably don't treat them bad or may be bold enough to humiliate them face to face.but they probably talk about them or laugh at them on the low because they can't do iton their own and.

because their struggle is so bad people are subjected to buy cheap food, and not buy what may be beneficial to them and to be subjected to not live a healthy life.higher wage people can go out and feel good and be independent. they would have better and more choices to choose from instead of one particular kind of thing.
they would be healthier because they would be able to buy the things that is good for them and have the best quality. and it would make them feel good cause now they know that they are able to do what is best for them instead of just accepting the fact that have to lower their standards because they don't have it like that

So perhaps "independent" translates to more than just being able to buy what they prefer; including health and self-esteem


Elif I.

Kay, it looks like you have a lot to say. If you want to put it all together, you will need to first break apart all the ideas you have; right now you are jumping from one idea to the next.
It looks like you are pointing out these things, as the negative outcomes of the current minimum wage rate:
1- Inability to be independent
2- Feeling unmotivated
3- Feeling embarrassed (due to own inability to afford more)
4- Being humiliated by others.
5- Inability to maintain good health due to inexpensive foods having low quality.
*3 & 4 could be linked in to 1 idea.
To be able to put it all together, you'll want to give concrete examples (studies, known facts etc.), in addition to your own opinion and observations, to support your argument that these are result of a low minimum wage.
Once you've made your argument in support of that, you will have led your reader to the conclusion, which is your thesis that minimum wage should be raised. 
* Be sure to pay attention to and fix grammar and spelling errors such as capitalization, plural vs. singular, their vs. they're (they are), spacing after punctuation marks etc..
Good luck,
Elif I.


Kay C.

so in your opinion 3and 4 is better


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