Give an example of an “owning” or “I” statement/question you could use to clear up this confusion.

Question

You are a mental health counselor. A client comes to you to discuss family conflict. He describes his relationship with his teenage daughter as “good, we get along great, we've always able to talk about things, and she seems to have a good head on her shoulders. Later the client says that he and his daughter have been fighting more than usual and he thinks she is making poor decisions regarding her choice in friends. This is confusing since these two descriptions seem to contradict each other. Give an example of an “owning” or “I” statement/question you could use to clear up this confusion.

Answer 1

An "owning" or "I" statement is a way of expressing oneself in a non-blaming or non-confrontational way. In this situation, a possible "owning" or "I" statement/question you could use to clarify the conflicting information the client has provided might be:

"It sounds like you have some mixed feelings about your relationship with your daughter. Can you help me understand more about what's going on for you? It seems like on one hand, you feel like you have a good relationship and are able to communicate well, but on the other hand, you've been having more conflicts and you're worried about her choice in friends. Can you tell me more about how you've been feeling and what's been happening between you and your daughter lately?"

This statement/question allows the client to express their own thoughts and feelings, rather than being confronted or blamed by the therapist. It also encourages the client to delve more deeply into their own experiences and emotions, which can be helpful in understanding and resolving conflicts.