Why do we lose control momentarily?

Question

We may be able to control our temper most of the times, but there are times when on the spur of the moment we react the way we don't want to. Yet we do so. Why are we not able to carry our conditioned behavior to the situations where we get pushed too far? Is it possible to have 100% control?

Answer 1

Losing control is a fascinating concept and a back-and-forth theory many psychologists debate over. It all starts with this idea:

When we're losing control of our temper, that means we are unable to control our impulses (and impulsive behavior) due to our high state of emotions.

Because humans experience a wide spectrum of agitation, anxiety, sadness, etc., many psychologists advocate that complete 100% control is not possible. However, that's where Cognitive Therapy comes in; the trained behavioral therapy taught to patients to change the way they react to situations, thus learning to control their emotions. But this sort of generalizes the idea of controlling our emotions, bringing forth the Total Control Theory, which is solely feeling the "right way to feel" (i.e., if you have the option to be resentful or forgiving and you feel resentful, you've failed).

I think it's safe to say that humans likely fall right in the middle of no control and total control over emotions. We're unable to determine what challenges life will throw at us next so the best we can do is handle it the best we can, even if sometimes we experience the "wrong way to feel."