Writing a story in Japanese: how to handle dialogue?

Question

I'm an elementary Japanese student. I am trying to write a simple story in Japanese, and I want to make it as interesting as possible with my current knowledge of the language. I am concerned about the dialogue in my story. The only way I know how to write that someone said something is through the use of という. I am worried that my story will become repetitive during a scene with a lot of dialogue. I don't want it to sound like this: > スーさんが「さむいです。」といいました。 > >はなこさんが「そうですね。」といいました。 > >スーさんが「かえりましょう。」といいました。 > >はなこさんが「ちょっとまってください。とりをみたいです。」といいました。 I will be reading this story aloud to an audience, so I want to avoid the repetitive "[person] が [dialogue] といいました" construction. What are some ways I can spice up my dialogue? Can it work the same way in English, where I can remove the dialogue tag (he said, she said) when my speakers are established? Can I also mix in action between the dialogue while doing this? >スーさんが「さむいです。」といいました。 > >はなこさんが「そうですね。」といいました。 > >スーさんがはなこさんのてをつかみました。「かえりましょう。」 > >「ちょっとまってください。とりをみたいです。」 > >"It's cold," said Sue. > >"It is," said Hanako. > >Sue grasped Hanako's hand. "Let's go home." > >"Wait a bit. I want to watch the birds." I know my dialogue is going to sound awkward and unnatural, but I'm not worried about that since I'm not at the point where I can pick up on nuances. Right now I am worried about getting the grammar down and not sounding repetitive. Any help is appreciated! (Also, please answer in kana or romaji.)

Answer 1

I would say use WA and the passive form, if you know it:

はなこは「さむいよ。かえろう」といいました。 "It's cold. Let's go home," Hanako said.

「ちょっとまって。ことりをもうすこしみていいの」りなちゃんにきかれた。"Wait. Can I watch the birds a little longer," she was asked by Rina.

As long as you don't use WA again it would mean the focus is still on Hanako.

Here are a few more words for verbal communication:

という - To say

Xに「」ときく - to ask X []

とこたえた - To respond/reply/answer

とたずねる - to ask/inquire

とくりかえす - to repeat

とさけぶ - to yell/shout

とささやく　－to whisper