Grammar Question

Question

The women soon disperse, some entering the shallow water at the \_\_\_\_\_\_ others venturing out onto the rocks to access deeper water. a) beach while b) beach, while c) beach. While d) beach, e) beach; while I personally thought the answer would be A because of how it is able to contrast between the two, but somehow the answer is D. Can anyone explain this?

Answer 1

Hi! Let's look at each possible answer.

a) The women soon disperse, some entering the shallow water at the [beach while] others venturing out onto the rocks to access deeper water.

b) The women soon disperse, some entering the shallow water at the [beach, while] others venturing out onto the rocks to access deeper water.

c) The women soon disperse, some entering the shallow water at the [beach. While] others venturing out onto the rocks to access deeper water.

d) The women soon disperse, some entering the shallow water at the [beach,] others venturing out onto the rocks to access deeper water.

e) The women soon disperse, some entering the shallow water at the [beach;] others venturing out onto the rocks to access deeper water.

You felt the answer would be (a), to highlight the contrast between what you recognized as two separate clauses. This is a good instinct, but incorrect. Try reading the sentence out loud. You'll notice that "...while others venturing out onto the rocks..." sounds a bit odd. A good rule of thumb is to recognize that if it doesn't sound right, it probably isn't. The subject of the second clause, after the conjunction "while," is "others," and so it would be inappropriate to use the gerund, "venturing," afterwards. Rather, you might write, "others ventured," or "others were venturing," but neither would be great in the context of this sentence. You want to keep as much parallel structure as possible (back to your point about contrast). Some women did this, others did that.

Therefore, option (d), "the women soon disperse, some entering the shallow water at the [beach,] others venturing out onto the rocks to access deeper water," preserves parallel structure ("some entering," versus "others venturing") while also eliminating the problem caused by the construction of "while" + gerund. The "while" is really designed to trick you...and you can rule out (e), which includes a semicolon, because you only use those with two independent clauses.

Hope this helps, and reach out if you have any questions.