help me please to check my grammar,

Question

      After her mother discovered she smoked, and put makeup Lina felt that the house such as imprisonment when and when she in school was free. Lina said she wanted to go out with her friends for fun, but her mother did not allow her, one day she asked her father to go with her friends to the homecoming dance and her father said: we trust to her and finally her mother allowed her to go to the homecoming dance. When Lina was dancing her mother came and watching her dancing as she spying on her daughter, and Lina was embarrassed in front of friends.

Answer 1

After her mother discovered she smoked, and put makeup Lina felt that the house such as imprisonment when and when she in school was free.

 

After Lina's mother discovered Lina's smoking and use of makeup, Lina began to look at her time at home as time in prison, and only felt free when at school.

 

Lina said she wanted to go out with her friends for fun, but her mother did not allow her, one day she asked her father to go with her friends to the homecoming dance and her father said: we trust to her and finally her mother allowed her to go to the homecoming dance. 

 

Lina wanted to out with her friends, but her mother did not allow that. One day she asked her father to be allowed to go to the homecoming dance with her friends. He replied "We must trust you" and so both parents finally agreed.

 

When Lina was dancing her mother came and watching her dancing as she spying on her daughter, and Lina was embarrassed in front of friends.  

 

*** NOW YOU TRY TO REWRITE THIS PARAGRAPH. I've underlined a couple of troublesome areas; also try to eliminate the slightly paranoid tone of this story. I suggest more reading of well written books--that's how you learn to express yourself in writing without making yourself look bad.