help me to check my grammar please

Question

Hyattsville was a place where everyone lived in peace there is no difference between the color of the skin, hair or anything. But when Lina moved on the Elkridge, everything changed. In the Elkridge, they had a kind of Excellence, she had to choose a group and dealing with them, there were the white kids, black kids, etc. Lina felt attracted to black kids. Lina began to change her Style clothing, on the day she wore baggy clothes,but her mother was not happy with her choice. Lina began rebellion and became smoking and then put make-up on the bus without the knowledge of her mother, and when she returns to the house she was removing her makeup.

Answer 1

There were some issues with inconsistent verb tense and subject-verb agreement with the original passage. In addition there were some run-on sentences and misplaced modifiers. Please see the revision below:

 

 

Hyattsville was a place where everyone lived in peace. There was no difference between the color of the skin, hair or anything. However, when Lina moved on the Elkridge, everything changed. In the Elkridge, they had a kind of excellence; Lina had to choose a group and deal with them. There were the white kids, black kids, etc. Lina felt attracted to black kids. Lina began to change her clothing style. One day she wore baggy clothes, but her mother was not happy with her choice. Without the knowledge of her mother, Lina began rebelling, smoking, and then putting on make-up while on the bus.  When she returned to the house, she would remove her makeup.