is this a good essay, describing mechanisms of disease and the body systems (circulatory, digestive, respiratory, excretory, nervous, and endocrine)??

Question

Body systems- circulatory, digestive, respiratory, excretory, nervous, and endocrine- work together in order to maintain homeostasis in our body. Circulatory system works with all other body systems. Because it delivers blood to all of the body parts, it can help other body systems to do their jobs.
Circulatory system helps other body systems. For example: Respiratory system takes in oxygen, which diffuses into blood, and is carried to other body parts by circulatory system. Digestive system breaks down the food and the nutrients are diffused into blood. Which, then, are carried to the body parts where they are needed. Excretory system excretes all the waste from the body. Which is brought by blood- circulatory system- to the kidneys, where it is filtered. And then it is excreted from the body. Endocrine system have ductless glands. Which means they release the hormones directly into the blood. Which then spread to our body by circulatory system and maintain homeostasis. Nervous system controls voluntary and involuntary actions and is also responsible for the coordination and balance of our body. The impulses are brought to the brain by blood and the messages or commands are brought back to the effector by blood- circulatory system.
Even though our body systems work together to maintain homeostasis and keep our body healthy. Unfortunately, we can develop different diseases of different body systems. Diseases are mostly developed by viruses, and bacteria. Which get in our body and start spreading and making abnormal cells. The diseases can be fatal, life-long, or we can recover fully, mostly, by taking the medicines, avoiding risk factors, and eating a healthy diet. Vaccinations are also required for most of the viral diseases. Vaccination is a dead or weakened virus. For which our immune system makes antibodies and memory cells- in case you develop that disease- the immune system fights the pathogens. And antibiotics are prescribed for most of the bacterial infections.
If we develop disease in one of our body system, rest of the body systems are also disturbed, and they can’t function properly. So it’s important to take care of our body, from outside and inside to keep our body healthy and to life a good long life.

 

 

 

can you edit or make it better please...!!!

Thanks...!!!

Answer 1

Hi Farheen! I'm a medical student and wanted to help with your essay: If this is high school or undergrad level, then you are fine, with the exception of the few corrections I have made. If this is and upper level course in undergrad, I would consider doing more research and going into greater depth about the processes described, as this is only scratching the surface of human physiology.

 

1- The impulses are brought to the brain by blood and the messages or commands are brought back to the effector by blood- circulatory system.

       This statement is incorrect. Nerve impulses are generated and conducted in the nervous system by a different mechanism. Instead, I would say that NUTRIENTS are brought to the brain by the circulatory system. 

 

2- Diseases are mostly developed by viruses, and bacteria. Which get in our body and start spreading and making abnormal cells.

       This is also a broad statement that I don't necessarily agree with. Instead, say that INFECTIONS are mainly viral or bacterial. "Disease" is too broad, as it can be caused by genetics, lifestyle, trauma, cancer, infections, etc. Also, I wouldn't go as far as to say that the cells are then made into abnormal cells. That processes is more like cancer, rather than your body's immune system fighting off a disease. I would take that last sentence out. 

 

3- If we develop disease in one of our body system, rest of the body systems are also disturbed, and they can’t function properly

       This is not an entirely accurate statement. (but I see where you are headed!) If I develop an infection in my toe (skeletal or bone), my brain and lungs will still work just fine. Yes, the body systems work synergistically, but stating that one effects all the rest is not accurate. Instead, I would talk about the heart. People with heart failure are not able to pump enough blood to the rest of the body. Their lungs become congested (pulmonary hypertension), the kidneys are injured (acute kidney injury), etc. 

 

Hope this helps!