how do i convince my parents to let me learn electric guitar?

Question

How do I convince my parents (specifically my dad) to let me learn guitar?

I currently play the violin and it will be 7 years of playing once I get to my 14th bday. However, as much as I enjoy violin, I want to learn electric guitar. I listen to many rock bands so I guess that kind of inspired me.

My mom has always supported me playing the violin, and I think she will be ok with it if I persuade her a little, the thing I'm worried about is convincing dad. He has never taken that much interest in me (he focuses so much on my little brother though), and he doesn't really like paying for the lessons because he claims that we are "poor", which we aren't (he works as a software engineer for Apple, we literally drive a Tesla and live in a really good part of the Bay Area in California). He's never been that interested in music anyway. He thinks music is a waste of money, and that we should be using the lesson money and time on more "important" stuff, like coding.

So, how can I convince them?

Answer 1

Hello Yufei, Your dad doesn't see the need to learn guitar, so create a need. Partner with a guitarist and volunteer to play for family gatherings or school talent shows. Find out which of your relatives have a guitar that they are not using that you can borrow. Once you acquire a guitar, you can teach yourself.

I hope that helps.

-Jose

Answer 2

Ah this is breaking my heart Yufei! I would try and explain to your dad why it is important to you and why you think you will excel at playing guitar. If that does not work then I would save up and buy your own guitar. You can get good starter guitar packs for $150, probably even less if you get them second hand. If you stay persistent then you will be a rocker my friend.

Answer 3

That is a very good question! Tell her music is so important for mental growth and it keeps kids out of trouble! A goal and understanding to focus on. Music opens up so much for intelligence but also strong skills to develop with working with other people, and if you ever play for people/audience, leadership skills and helps get ya out of your shell if your shy. I never did sports in school, so creatively, it doesn't go to waste.

Answer 4

It's time to have a conversation and as long as you are respectful about it I feel you should be as honest as possible. I would say that playing guitar is really calling you and that it is to be considered a hobby not your career path. Music is a form of expression and it is very good for mental health. Hopefully he understands. Wishing you the best!

Answer 5

Hey Yufei,

You're in a pickle! Your dad sounds like a very pragmatic sort of guy. Normally I'd say you could cite the bunches of studies that correlate the study of music with increased academic performance and capacity to concentrate.

Such as:

https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2019/06/music-students-score-better

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/your-brain-will-thank-you-for-being-a-musician/

There's quite a bit more, Google is your friend! "Studies Musicians Improves"

However, since you ALREADY play an instrument, your challenge is also convincing him that electric guitar is just as valid as violin, or even MORE valid.

I mean electric guitar instruction is usually less expensive, so that's one avenue of approach.

Also, the average salary of professional violinists is pretty dismal; somewhere around $32 an hour, and keep in mind that's after huge amounts of formal education and succeeding in a very competitive atmosphere. So it's not like making money from guitar is really any less practical an option. (Though neither are recommended when it comes to paying the bills.) So it's not like you're losing a big financial opportunity by moving to a different instrument.

HOWEVER, more interesting is... If you already know and are interested in computer sciences, there are a LOT of applications of computer science in the realm of electric guitar: There is a huge market revolving around studio plugins, modeling software, teaching software (like Wyzant), etc that is much more relevant to an electric guitarist than to a violinist.

That is because electric guitar is still an instrument which is on the forefront of innovation, and especially on the software end of things. People are always looking for new ways to get a great sound, whereas with violin;

"Stradivarius/Steiner/Guarneri did it best hundreds of years ago and nothing can ever be better."

How many guitarists have bought or used Apple's own Garageband or Logic Pro versus violinists? Nevermind the plugins, where I'm sure violinists make up less than 1% of the user base.

It's your argument to make, but if you're going to look at which musical instruments are most relevant in a modern sense, and which instruments you will want to know if you want to strive towards any sort of work in the musical software industry (which is huge): electric guitar, keyboard/synthesizer. Definitely the big two.

Think you can convince him you want to become a software engineer for a musical instrument company, and THUS you are interested in electric guitar? It's a stretch, but hey.

Just maybe.

Answer 6

Hi Yufei!

Hopefully I can give a bit of advice on this, as I can see a true desire to learn and play music and hate to see that snuffed out by things like money or pragmatism, especially at your age!

I understand a parent's reluctance to pay money for music lessons; their innate "value" is impossible to quantify ("Will it lead to a well-paying job?" "Will it actually bring my child happiness?" "Will my child actually be able to learn this instrument?" Questions a parent might ask that truly break my heart as a musician!) It's even harder if the parent his/herself has no interest in music of their own; they can't see what incredible value it can have in others' lives because it holds no value in their own.

I think 7 years of violin is an excellent start! This means you already have a strong familiarity with many of the techniques and concepts you would be learning on guitar (this saves your Dad money in lessons because you're already ahead). Another appeal might be to suggest that learning music theory and harmony trains the same mental muscles used in math, and therefore coding (I am a graduated Electrical Engineering student, and I 100% attribute my math-success to the music theory I learned at the age of 15).

Hopefully some of this helps, but at the end of the day, you're almost at an age where you will be making your own money and can buy a guitar and lessons all on your own, whether your parents decide help you or not. Until then, hang onto your desire and your inspiration, because learning an instrument is a wondeful thing!

Best of luck!

- Paul