How do I make these sentences sound better through better word usage?

Question

 In Salem, the act of witchcraft is taken seriously and is punishable by death. When one of the main characters, Abigail, is in danger of being accused of this she is willing to take any risk to take the blame off of herself. Even if it means pinning it on the ones closest to her. 

Answer 1

The best way to improve this passage is to redraft it with more direct, active subject-verb constructions. Instead of "is taken seriously" (which immediately begs the question "taken seriously by whom?", tell us who takes witchcraft seriously: "The people of Salem take witchcraft seriously, so seriously that they'll punish witches by hanging or crushing." In the second sentence, rather than telling your readers Abigail "is in danger," you can tell us in more direct terms why she believes she'll be accused: "When Abigail learns X, she fears Y will accuse her of witchcraft, and she is willing to take any risk to shift the blame." Occasional passive constructions can be acceptable, but editors and teachers prefer active voice.

Answer 2

 In Salem, the act of witchcraft is taken seriously and is punishable by death. When one of the main characters, Abigail, is in danger of being accused of this she is willing to take any risk to take the blame off of herself. Even if it means pinning it on the ones closest to her. 

Suggestion: Connect where it is going with Abigail from the start. It doesn't seem so much fear, as an opportunity for her schemes.

In Salem, the accusation of witchcraft is fully accepted by the townspeople, and with witchcraft's mere allegation resulting in death, the members respond in fear when accused. When Abigail, an antagonist anyway, is accused of witchcraft, she takes that fear and uses the opportunity to suggest the blame belongs to others, particularly John Proctor's wife, as she schemes to eliminate her rival.