Who would have jurisdiction over crimes committed by Santa at the North Pole?

Question

I know this is out there, but the Weird Al song 'The Night Santa Went Crazy' has always left me wondering this. The song ends with Santa in "Federal Prison" for massacring the elves and reindeer. That doesn't really make sense to me, since I don't believe St. Nicholas would be a citizen of any modern country, nor would the elves as far as we know, nor was the crime committed in the United States. So, if Santa was real, and the events of the song actually happened, who would have jurisdiction to try him?

Answer 1

Only the North Pole: territorial