Julie S. answered 07/17/19
Chemistry Can Be Fun! 25 Years Tutoring Gen Chem and Orgo Chem
The way I like to look at that trend is about how "aggressive" the nucleophile is. In the absence of solvation (stabilization of the anion), the nucleophilicity parallels basicity because stronger bases are just looking for something positive (or partially positive) to stick to!
The reason the trend is reversed in protic solvents is that the anions/bases are satisfied with the hydrogen bonding to stabilize the anion, so nucleophilicity then hinges on which anion is more capable of donating its electrons to something else - the larger, more polarizable (and higher HOMO) anions more readily act as nucleophiles under those conditions.
Look at it this way - the simplistic concept of nucleophilicity is about how readily the anion wants to act as a Lewis Base, right? What makes a good Lewis Base? "Strong bases" are less stable anions which really want to grab protons, but having Polarizable anions also help with nucleophilicity. So you have BOTH aspects to consider for nucleophilicity - base strength AND polarizability.
These trends are opposite for the halides, so the key is figuring out which trend "wins". If the solvent is aprotic, the base strength is more relevant and therefore the smaller halides are better Nucleophiles. Thus the order is: F- > Cl- > Br- > I-
However, if the solvent is protic, the base strength is less relevant because of the stabilization of the anion weakening it as a base, therefore the more polarizable/larger halides are better Nucleophiles and the order reverses to: I- > Br- > Cl- > F-
Hope that helps...