How do I answer emails when I am working in a toxic environment?

Answer 1

Sometimes, when we find ourselves in circumstances involving toxicity, we are overrun by the emotions we feel. The main thing to remember is that emotions are the worst governing force in a human life. Emotions allow us to experience the world and have empathy for people, but when they rule us, they kill us every time! Emotional governance will always leave you behaving in ways that are detrimental to the end goals. With that being said, here’s an example of how you are going to prove successful:

A.) Drop your level of importance in your mind; attacks against you are always about the other person. This is not personal, regardless of how it feels. Remember, you have no control over the actions and thoughts of others. You are NOT a victim; you are in fact a powerhouse. You know this because the people attacking are intimidated; otherwise, they wouldn’t be bothering you. The actions of others are a direct reflection of them and never you. 

Now that you are developing the correct mindset, reread the email and get the meaning. Here is an example: “Person X, Regarding the project, you said that you would have this done two days ago and you haven’t presented anything yet. You are terrible at your job, and they should have hired someone else.” 

Your proper response: “Person Y, Thank you so much for taking the time to share with me your frustration about the project. I am truly grateful for your insights. You are correct; I anticipated having this completed a few days ago. Due to circumstances out of my control, there was a delay. However, I am happy to say that it is [now completed/will be completed on/has been submitted]. If you would like, I am happy to update you later today on the status of the project. Let me know if this works for you. Have a great day!” --Person X

Please, don’t get caught up in the semantics of this example. You will answer it in your own voice/words. What you want to understand is how the question was answered. Your focus should be on the positive; and disregard the nastiness coming your way. This is not always easy. It will take a great deal of practice, but you can do it.

B.) Depending on the type of email, evaluate its validity and acknowledge the statements if they are reasonable and/or coming from a superior. This is an opportunity for you to grow; don’t begrudge that. Answer from a place of gratitude, to demonstrate your willingness to grow with the team. 

C.) Find the valid points in the email. Going back to #1 and looking at the sample email, we can find the information we need to address. 

“you said” – Was this a deadline you set? If so, address it. If you said something else, that’s fine; correct the misunderstanding. For example, “Person Y, My apologies for the misunderstanding. Clearly, I misstated the information I was conveying. My intention was to have it completed two days after I received Person A’s project. I hope that this clarifies what was said. Thank you for reaching out so this could be cleared up. Have a great day!”

“done two days ago” – Is the project finished? Is it something you can finish right away? How much time do you need? Are you waiting on another person to complete their part before you can get your part completed? Whatever the answer, explain the status. This way you are documenting your handling of the situation. 

Now, what's most important, is to understand the better you are at responding the harder the attacks will come. The responder will get angrier. Be prepared for that and start finding more exciting ways of addressing the issues ensuring you stay respectful and professional. 

If you need more specific answers, please feel free to reach out to me. I hope this helps.