How do I begin finally making music on the piano?

Question

It's been almost 4 years since I had too much time on my hands while living in student dorms so I decided to learn to play the piano. I always loved listening to classical and suddenly listening wasn't enough so I decided to start playing. I had really A LOT of free time, so I'd often sit for 8 hours straight without getting tired and couldn't wait to pick up where I left off the next day. Maybe it wasn't quite the smartest thing to do, but I started with a Chopin prelude (4th, the simplest) and raised the bar from there. In my defense, I never had delusions of concert-level mastery (I was 24 back then), just wanted to have some fun with my favourite pieces. It toook me months to pick up a new one but I didn't mind, the reward of a few bars of something I really loved was enough. As time went, I got a little better. Having had little in the way of musical education (some recorder in primary school which I enjoyed a lot), I relied on occasional bits of insight from my roommate who was a fairly good musician (accordion, also decent on piano), the rest I picked up from books and Wikipedia. I learned the Raindrop prelude by Chopin, some time after that the Military polonaise, got even as far as the op10no12 (revolutionary) etude. Sometimes I gathered the courage to play at some venue and it gave me great pleasure when I'd get claps and occasional praise from more seasoned pianists, but not as much as I had from the knowledge that I knew how to play my favourite pieces and even play around with them a little (tempo, expression etc.). Then things started to get complicated. I had about 20 pieces in my modest repertoire when realized I couldn't play the 4th prelude anymore, so I worked to get it back together. Then I developed problems with parts of other pieces I thought I knew. Everything started falling apart. Suddenly I realized I was just a trained monkey who learned how to type the works of Shakespeare without knowing language. I still don't know how I really remembered those pieces. It can't all be muscle/visual memory, can it? On the recorder, it was simple to play things by ear and my friend said I'd eventually 'get it' on the piano so I patiently kept playing and waited. Then I got really depressed and stopped playing for about two months. Every now and then I'd sit and try to play a Bach variation or something else, but I'd just get in despair at how it'd break apart. All the joy was gone. I tried to begin anew, but this time simpler. I would listen to some simple pop music I liked and try to play it (sometimes with the help of chords from the net). I was determined to make it work, but after a two weeks' break, I can't remember how to play those pieces either. I wish I could just sit and play something I hear clearly in my head, but I just can't. Any advice on how to make this happen?

Answer 1

This is obviously a very frustrating issue for you. What you may need is a video enhanced way to read the music. Someone in a video guiding you to hear the right combinations of chords with the associated notation. Many songs require hours of practice while others require little due to the simplicity of their structure. Muscle memory does fade over time, it's in our tertiary memory but the less we recall it the less our brain requires it's immediate recall. Performers who learn selections for instance, who travel and perform selections regularly recall information instantly, however, those who do not perform and let things fade into the background tend to have less recall or lose segments of selections. Have you noticed that you remember the more difficult sections and those sections of the songs that you can remember are actually the ones missing? If you wish to build on your existing skills time to invest in music theory, music notation, and ear training. Best of luck to you.