When should parents look for a tutor

I like to read books and articles about how to help children succeed in school. I have 5 children ranging in ages 26 to 11. My 24 yr old son has ADD and we all struggled to get him through school. Currently he is studying at a University and doing very well. However, I wish I knew then the things I know now. One of the things I wish I had done differently is to get him a tutor when he was going through school. I tried to tutor him myself and would feel guilty that I wasn't doing enough. Then I read in several places where it is not advisable for parents to try to be the tutor. Such as the following example:

Natalie Rothvon, Phd. The Unmotivated Child, 1996 pg. 189
"In the past, underachievers with skill deficits were retained in an attempt to help them catch up with their classmates. Because being held back in a grade cannot build positive views of self or others (usually quite the contrary!), retention is not an effective treatment for the underachiever who have fallen behind their peers. Instead of having the underachiever with skill deficits retained, parents should consider having them tutored. Tutoring can not only help the underachiever catch up academically but also increase his confidence in approaching challenging tasks at school."

"At this point parents may be thinking, 'I'll sit down with my child every night after dinner and make sure he know his math facts.' Although parents play a vital role in encouraging achievement at home and school, they should not try to tutor their own child. The underachiever's fragile self-esteem makes it hard for him to take risks in the classroom, let alone in front of the parents who he loves and longs to please. For their part parents' emotional investment in the child and their pent up frustration with his poor performance make it difficult for the serve as non anxious, encouraging tutors."

I highly encourage parents to get help for their children when they are struggling. The cost of hiring a tutor will be well worth it in the end.


Arlene B.

Life Skills Training for Children with ADHD and Aspergers

100+ hours
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