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what do you think about this mission statement? "Creating strong minded individuals who will become leaders in tomorrow’s international community"

what do you think about this mission statement? "Creating strong minded individuals who will become leaders in tomorrow’s international community"

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Kerry R. | Redirect Fear and Connecting Public Speaking TutorRedirect Fear and Connecting Public Spea...
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Your mission statement is too long. Keep it simple!  Just a suggestion: Creating Leaders in an International World.
Ed M. | Help with grammar, French, SAT Writing, the TOEFL and ESL.Help with grammar, French, SAT Writing, ...
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I don't have much expertise in crafting or evaluating mission statements, but one thought I have is that because a statement is normally held to consist of--or contain at minimum--one grammatically complete declarative sentence, what you've given here is actually not a "statement" since it's technically a sentence fragment, i.e., it lacks either of the two principal elements, a subject and a finite (conjugated) verb, that comprise a complete English sentence. That is to say, creating is not a "finite" verb (it would need an auxiliary like is or are to "complete" it), and moreover, we don't know from what you've written precisely who "creates" these type individuals; presumably it's the organization to whom this "mission statement" appertains, but again I believe that a true mission statement would make this explicit, e.g., through the mention of something as simple and vaguely defined as we as the subject of statement/sentence.
 
In other words, I believe what you have here is more of a slogan or a motto rather than a mission statement, but again business writing and rhetoric are not my specialties.
 
Also, I have two other quibbles about the wording:
  • I think the idiom strong-minded which you use here has some negative connotations, i.e., meanings or colorings, in current American English, something like 'stubborn' or 'bull-headed', and therefore may not be a fitting expression to use in a mission statement whose purpose I take it is normally to put an organization or business in the best possible light.
  • And tomorrow's international community seems a little imprecise and therefore weasely, which is certainly not uncommon in public relations communications, but it seems to me that a good mission statement would want to say something that's bold and innovative and say it in a direct manner.